Same over and over
by chiruchiru-chan
Summary: Because some things don't make sense. Pure and utter crack.
1. Chapter 1

"You guys gonna throw me of the team?!" Lucy screamed her busty self of. Natsu was looking calmly to her.

"Sorry, Luce, but another writer just made a Lisanna-comes-back-and-Lucy-gets-ignored story." Natsu explained, his voice filled with irritation at the thoughts of this plot again. It's so overused, like all the authors mom.

"What do you mean by story?! And what's with that nickname?!" Lucy was screaming so loud as a Fairy Tail party. Lisanna came walking in the guild, her innocent and sweet self changed for the story. She ran to Natsu and kissed him rough. Lucy felt like crying now. When they were done kissing, Lisanna eyes Lucy.

"Sorry Lucy-Chan, but I have to act like a bitch now, because of the plotline. No offense to you. Should we hold a shopping evening tomorrow?" The kind, and not bitchy, girl said.

"...Sure."

The girl with white hair remembered something.

"Oh yeah, now's Natsu supposed to tell you that you're weak, you leave the guild for a few years or join another guild. The only guild who's not being used in stories is Lamia Scale, would be original for once." Lisanna rolled her eyes and Lucy's urge to kill the writer was growing with each nanosecond.

**Each nanosecond.**

"Don't forget the fact that you're going to become a dragon slayer or queen, or whatever power they'l give you. And if you're gone, I suddenly realize my feelings for you, go after you, we're becoming a couple and get married and then the children come." Natsu added. Lucy facepalmed. She is a celestial spirit mage for stars sake, not a dragon slayer/queen or anything ells.

"And lastly, if it's not Nalu, you're mostly paired up with other person like Rogue and Sting from Sabertooth." Mira added from the counter. The said duo came walking in to lucy.

"Fairy-San, I've never talked to you, but I love you." Rogue gave Lucy a hug A.K.A. OOC manner. Sting pushed him away, and grabbed Lucy's hand and kissed the top of it.

"Blondie, I love you although I laughed my ass of at chapter 293." What. The. Hell. is. going on. Lucy felt like running away. So long for having a sane day.

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**Don't own Fairy Tail.**


	2. Chapter 2

"So, Lucy-" Erza and, who walked to the blond her table, was cut of by their teammate.

"I know, I know. You're going to kick me out of the team. Don't worry, Natsu did most of the things. And Erza, you're supposed to have a make-out session with Jellal." Erza blushed the same colour as her

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tomato, who she happened to have in her hand. "Why that?"

"Fanservice, huney, fanservice. This is a Fairy Tail fanfic, with a lot of Jerza supporters. Deal with it." She stated bluntly. She than looked at Gray.

"You do remember you have to do a lemon fic with Lyon and Juvia, right?" .

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Shouts of embarrassment were heard miles away. Juvia looked like she wanted it.

Poor Gray…

footsteps were heard, and with the speed of

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a snail, Sting appeared with a cake.

"Blondie, I made you a pie even thought I don't know myself if I can cook." Lucy raised her eyebrows in confusion.

"You are blond, and yet you call me Blondie? What is this, blondception?" As a shadow hurt by light, Rogue appeared with Natsu.

"Fairy-San, or whatever I have to call you, because I'm not interested, you still have to go to the pace of 'bastard Natsu' and 'possessed or lust-filled Natsu' saga." Lucy face palmed and just walked outside of the guild.

"Wait, Lucy, I have to be OOC for you and confess." Sting shouted. Lector, who was for a strange reason still alive, patted Sting head.

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Oh, you want to know where the other exceed, Happy, is? Just flirting with Charle, or rather left out of the story.

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Fanfiction, where everybody loves Lucy.

Let's change Fairy Tail into Everybody Loves Lucy.

You see, after getting home from multiple flirting tigers, lamia's, hearts, seis and you may further imagine, Lucy fell on her bed falling asleep.

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**Don't own Fairy Tail. Poll will be up for next one-shot.**


	3. Chapter 3

Lucy woke up. It was , the clock still broken (Thanks to a certain dragon slayer). She did her usual things, and ran to the guild. Lisanna was trembling, her face showing horror.

"Lisanna, what's wrong?" Lucy asked like a mother.

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Wait, that's Mira role. Sorry guys.

Lisanna started crying, her tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Natsu just….Natsu…" She couldn't help but to sob silently. Lucy held her in her arms.

"Lisanna, what did Natsu do?" The whitette (Is that even a word?) looked up to Lucy.

"He just wrote… a yu…yur…yuri fic….about us." She said while sobbing further. A long silence filled the air.

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"Natsu!" Lucy ran into the guild with rage while the guild looked confused. Mira, who was ignoring the whole situation (that makes her kinda the douch in most fanfics), saw the angry Lucy stomp to Natsu. But she just returned to clean a glass that was already clean because she had nothing better to do.

"Why. Did. You. Wrote. A. Yuri. Fic. About. . Lisanna!?" She raged while doing a celestial dragon roar.

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Wait, how is it possible to do that? Nobody mentioned a dragon with –Oh wait, it's a dragon with the name celes, celestia or whatever they come up with. What's she supposed to eat? Because I'm sure she ain't gonna launch herself continuously to the stars to eat them, right? Or am I suddenly the queen of Germany?

Natsu, being in most stories the idiot (he has a brain to, y'know.), didn't knew the true meaning of yuri or GL.

"I thought it was about two females being friends. So I wrote one about you and Lisanna. And when's your novel complete?" He asked innocently.

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Sting ran with another sweet, this time it being a cupcake.

"So, Sticy?"

"No!"

The guild door opened, and Lyon was entering the guild.

'If I can't get Juvia-Chan, then Lucy will do. After all, she is his second option.' He thought. He walked to Lucy and hugged her.

"Let Lycy begin!"

"NO!"

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**If you guys are smart enough, you'll notice that Graylu is second best pairing after Gruvia. So if Lyon can't get his rival lover (stalker), then he'll get the second option.**

**But I have one questions. I'm planning to make a fanfic with the manga's I'm obsessed with. Fairy Tail and Zombie loan. Here's the summary.**

**AU. In the grand Magic games, Chika Akatsuki and his friend Shito Tachibana from the Fairy Tail guild, watch from the sidelines as they see their former friend changed into something that they never wish she changed too. Lucy Heartfilia, lover of Rogue Cheney and loyal Sabertooth member, watch her once gentle friend change into a second Minerva. Michiru Kita, lust filled woman from Sabertooth and soon to be bride of Sting Eucliffe who holds a grudge toward Fairy Tail. With eclipse plan and the GMG, will everything be alright? Or can they bring back Michiru like she once was.**

**I'm not to sure about it. Please review if you liked it!**

**Bye!**


	4. Chapter 4

As Lucy tried hard to get out of Lyon's grip, Natsu decided to ask the following.

"Guys, can't you see I'm busy with my yuri stories!" The whole guild fell in pure silence. Natsu grinned.

"Thank you for the silence. Now I can complete my other Lucy and Lisanna fic." He cheered happily.

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"Natsu Dragneel, what. Is. Wrong. With. You?! And btw, your funeral will be tomorrow!" Lucy screamed while doing a all elemental dragon kick, learned from multiple dragons (While we don't have any idea were they are), making Natsu fall to the world filled with kittens. What? Anyone loves kittens.

Lisanna screamed in horror, running around in circles till she dug her own grave. Literally. Oops, that was from another fanfic. Sorry.

Lyon, who still thought that Lucy was in his arms, muttered words that made Gray blush fierce. Juvia was behind him with a butcher knife

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Because she just made some food for him. How sweet. Rogue, who's sat in a corner because his OOC role made him tired, decided to tell something.

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He likes train. And frogs. And Lucy (even thought they never talked to each other until a day ago.) But he also just want to take Lucy somewhere, the guild doesn't care about her now, because Natsu just announced that his Lilu collection was on sale.

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"Natsu!"

Lucy grew some black wings with blood all over it. Her clothes turned into a purple with purple colours and her eyes and hair turned violet like.

"I love I don't know who of my harem, and I want to cosplay a crossover with Caster from F/SN and a demon. Can you help me tomorrow with my clothes?" She asked calmly. But the guild looked like hell was frozen over.

"Sure, then I'll knock at your door at ." (Because Natsu also has a brain, no mather how dumb he looks like). And Gray fell to the world filled with pandas. :D

Never will Fairy Tail be sane. –**Bob Marley**

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**This will be more a humorous fic instead of a bashing of Natsu, Lucy, Lisanna thing. If any suggestions, then just review. :D**


	5. Chapter 5

As Lucy boxed with Sting in her apartment, Natsu knocked at the door (Gray, stop freezing hell over!). Lucy, who stood there dumbfounded, opened the door to see Natsu.

"I thought you were joking…." Lucy said, while drinking some fire whiskey. The pinkette( Natsu: Salmon coloured, how many times do I have to repeat!) looked even dumber than normal.

"Lucy, that's my whine!" He said while pouting. The female pooped a vein.

"You spell wine, not whine! Lucy kicku!" The word echoed while she did her famed kick. Natsu was knocked out, and dreamt about children and Lucy. And pandas.

"Lucy….child….Nashi….pink." He said in his sleep. The said female blushed.

"Dafuq is Nashi?!" She shouted while being given another sweet. She chewed upon the sweet thing until she realized something.

"Sting, how many cakes are you going to make?! Geez, stop cooking, you!" Sting, who was beside her pouted.

"But Lucy, there are going to be some visitors of other manga's." He said in a non-Sting way.

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"…WHAT! This is only the Fairy Tail section, not the crossover one!" She felt someone tap her shoulder. Lucy turned around, to meet the cast of Zombie-Loan.

"Who the hell are you! And aren't you from a different section." She shouted

"Author. Fanfic. Stupid. 'nuff said." The dark blue haired said. Lucy groaned in anger. She looked to the lavendette (Natsu: And you guys use the proper term for her?!). She looked dazed.

"Shugoi, it's Lucy Heartfilia! When are you gonna end up with Sting, Lyon, Natsu or Rogue?" She asked innocently. The bi-populair hair boy gave her a look of pittance.

"Shall I help you with your rent problem?"

"….Go in."

The girl turned towards Lucy.

"Lucy-Chan, the characters of many other manga's are going to come. And Lyon-San too."

"I know, I know.."

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**Next chapter: Mary sues and too much power. Now reading: Lycy story. Nice crack pairing, btw. New story on profile + poll.**


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